35. Wala ka sa Lolo ko. The words of his Dad, “You are my son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”

1 October 2020

Reciprocating the affection of Tatay, in 2006, after I recovered from famine and severe affliction previous 5 years, and coming on home leave first time, from Kuwait on 100/21 days work rotation.

With Inay and my only son Paolo, seeing the mutual affection of a father and a son in us, and affection also for Inay, passing on the affection to next generation.

Mark 1

The Baptism of Jesus

11 And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”

9 At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. 10 Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove.

Just before the start of quarantine, we had at church a learning session in the men's ministry using the video series of Bruce Wilkinson.

Towards the end of the session, the discussion question was, what would you have wished your father has said to you when you were a child?

Without really being particular about what the topic of the video lesson was, as a general question, let me ask you, what would you have wished your father has said to you when you were a child?

In our session, the majority answer was, one wished his father had told him, “My son, I love you.”

In our culture, fathers have difficulty being expressive of affection with their sons, sometimes more expressive with their daughters.

I don't know if fathers want to appear to their sons as being a man of few words to suggest being strong-willed and that everything happens to their preference without any need of uttering it. And fathers want their sons to carry on with that tradition.

Before I go to what was my answer, which surprised the facilitator, being different from the majority, let me share a devotional dated 18 June 2005 from Our Daily Bread which I came about around Father's Day June this year.

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Give Voice To Your Love

There is no fear in love. — 1 John 4:18

In 1990 a TV documentary on the US Civil War attracted huge audiences. One program featured a letter by a soldier killed at the battle of Bull Run. 

Sullivan Ballou realized the peril he faced in the looming clash, so he wrote a poignant letter to his wife. In part he said, “If I do not return, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I loved you, nor that when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.”

Men, more than women, often find it difficult to express deep emotions. They may squelch the impulse to put their tenderest feelings into words.

This Father’s Day, many men will receive expressions of love, but they may have trouble voicing their love in return. Yet nothing is more masculine than to express love to our loved ones. That’s true not only for fathers but for all of us. We can bestow no gift more precious to those who are wrapped up with us in the bundle of life.

This Father’s Day, emulate that courageous fallen Civil War hero and give voice to your love.

Happy Father's Day!.... Dad....give voice to your love..... God bless.

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Here was my rejoinder to above devotional "Give Voice To Your Love", an open letter to my three children, aged 35, 33 and 31, all married, blessing me and my wife Marlou with 5 grandchildren starting from 2017. I am a Super Lolo.

http://picoygonzales.blogspot.com/2020/08/give-voice-to-your-love-fathers-day-2020.html

Now as to my response to the discussion question as mentioned earlier, I said, I wished Tatay would have told me, Anak, ito ang Salita ng Diyos (Son, this is God's word).

The reason is that I have been loved very much by Tatay, no doubt.

Here is the tribute for Tatay I wrote in August 2017, around the time of his birthday and that of Inay. Tatay passed away in 2010 and Inay in 2015.

I would say Tatay must have been spiritual, and that he prayed although I did not see it; he sent us six children to a Catholic school one time or another. 

With Tatay and Inay during first Holy Communion in 1967, photo restoration by my nephew Lendl, son of my brother Boy aka Avegon.

Now that I am an Evangelical or Born Again Christian, having accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior in 2004 at age 44, I realize that reading and studying the Bible is less a part in Roman Catholicism; pardon me if I have to say that. 

So, Tatay did not come to the point of introducing us siblings to reading the Bible. The first century Christians were well-versed with the Bible.

As to Tatay's affection for me, when I became a Christian, I would recall how Inay would tell me years earlier that Tatay has that fondness having me around him, I am the good boy. But take note, that never went to my head, I never used it to get advantage over my five other siblings. I am the fourth of 6 children. As a boy, my built was small for my age so I had that fear that my older siblings can bully me, even to the point I had inferiority complex which I overcame years later having grown to be 5'7" in college after being barely 5' when I graduated high school.

I started poorly in grade school at St. Bridget's College in Batangas City, moved to public school at Grade 4 (due to family finances) where I began to improve academically all the way to college.

One incident that would suggest the kind regard of my siblings for me is that if you know my eldest brother Boy aka Avegon (I grew up not calling him Kuya yet respecting him properly), the second of us; it must be about 1980, I was still a bachelor, his girlfriend and future wife Julie was at our family home; she approached me that early evening telling me Boy, with a little drink, had gone out for a quarrel. She described the fight would be holding to a waist belt with the other person, each with a fan knife. I asked her to accompany me and I saw my brother in the street still by himself, so I caressed him at the back and asked him if we can just go home, and he obliged. He was of big built about 180 lbs, being a varsity basketball player from his high school years, and I was lanky at about 100 lbs that time. Boy passed away in 2006 at age 51 due to illness.

During my 60th birthday this 25 September, I told my remaining siblings (my younger sister Lina passed away in 2018 also due to illness) during the online video party that my wish is that our bond be even closer, for my children and their children's sake, and to look after the children of our deceased siblings.

I was loved first by Tatay that love became natural for me for my siblings and their children.

1 John 4

19 We love because he first loved us.

16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God.

I can say with all honesty, my children's children will someday say, wala ka sa Lolo ko, to him the words of his Dad, “You are my son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”

Dear fathers, give voice to your love for your children, it's never too early or too late. This should never be awkward for us to do since God loved us first, each one of us for that matter.

For a moment, pause, and think about God's love for you.

Kindly share this message with someone who you believe will be blessed as well.

Maraming salamat.

God Bless Everyone.